Miss Lonelyhearts

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,

My right boob is bigger than my left boob.  What should I do?

signed,

Off Balanced

 

Dear Off,

Miss Lonelyhearts had this very same problem.  Tell your boyfriend to start using his other  hand.  The boob is a muscle and must be exercised.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,

My husband spends every Tuesday and Thursday nights at the Titty Twister.   He spends hundreds of lindens, tipping strippers,and comes home with empty pockets.   How can this marriage be saved?

signed,

Strip Pole-less

 

Dear Strip,

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times.  Men need variety.  So go and get a part time job to help support your family, or take up crocheting or something.  And don’t nag.  Men hate that.  Um, what nights did you say he goes there?

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,

I came home one day and found my husband dressed in women’s clothing, in an outfit better than any of the ones in my closet.  What should I do?

signed,

Frumpy

 

Dear Frumpy,

A man should never have a better dress than his wife.  I’d advise to pack his things, and leave.

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