FDH Captain Rousseau Responds Dubrovsky

3 mins read

FDH Captain Dimitri Rousseau spoke to the Hathian Observer in a private interview where he explained the story that broke over the weekend where Ms Alyona Dubrovsky claims that the Captain hosed her with a strong blast of water while she was outside of her store, for no apparent reason.

“I have nuthin’ but apologies ta offer Ms Dubrovsky who has been nuthin’ but pleasan’ ta me. She was the victim in this inciden’ an’ I fully accep’ blame fa wha occurred.

My pregnan’ wife was sick with the infection tha been goin roun’ lately due to a strain of drugs an’ the water bein’ contaminated. I also caugh’ the infection af’er she fell sick—an’ unfortunately I was under the illness when I did carry out tha hosin on Ms Dubrovsky.” He admitted.

He also had this to say, in regards to the story that was written by Hathian Observer Reporter Doniella Maddox titled: “FDH Captain Leaves Porn Star Wet And Breathless.”

“Tha reasons fa tha things I did were a lot less excitin and interestin, I was clearly sick—but Ms Maddox tha reporter at the Observer has written article af’er article that are often shrill, hysterical an’ clearly biased. Her articles all hinge on attackin a person, people or institutes in order for people ta read her poorly written articles in the first place. Her tabloid pieces usually exclude first hand accounts or different views and little research or actual investigation.

I declined to speak to Ms Maddox for these very reasons. I have offered Ms Dubrovsky my sincerest apologies—-offerin’ to pay fa her store damages an fa her hospital bills as I told Ms Maddox—but she makes no mention of these promises in her article.”

The FDH Captain also stated that he wishes Ms Dubrovsky a speedy recovery and he expressed the hope that previous FDH projects that he hope will benefit the community such as the FDH/HGH Support Group for Addictions and Substance Abuse will be untouched by the “sensationalized and trashy dirt slingin” carried out by Ms Maddox, in his own words.

“I sugges’ setting up a gofundme account fa Ms Maddox so that the city can benefit from her bein’ sent to an actual school for journalism,” were Captain Rousseau’s final words.

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