Rejects Claim Responsibility for Woman Found Burning on Bourbon

3 mins read

Witnesses and law enforcement were stunned on February 28 when a woman was left hanging and in flames off the Bourbon Street overpass.  Little was initially known about the crime, with witnesses stating that the perpetrators were masked and worked quickly.

Less than twenty-four hours later, however, this publication received an email from someone claiming to be Rory McAuley, the woman believed to be the current leader of the notorious, long-lived Rejects gang.  Attached to the email were the pictures we print here with this article.  Over further contacts, McAuley agreed to a brief interview.

Having heard the stories and rumors, this reporter was not prepared to be greeted by a composed-looking woman wearing clothes that wouldn’t look out of place at a high-level business lunch.  McAuley is surprisingly young. She declined to give her age but this reporter would put her at around twenty years old.

Our interview is as follows, with language removed for our younger readers:

OBSERVER:  Miss McAuley, thank you for agreeing to speak with me.  May I ask, given the severity of your crime, why you chose to reach out to the Observer rather than hiding the evidence?

RORY MCAULEY:  Well… sometimes things happen for a reason.  A person doesn’t end up in that position unless they’re meant to be seen.  Meant to send a message.

OBSERVER:  So you’re saying that the woman left hanging on the overpass was intended to be a message?

RORY MCAULEY:  Yes.  One that everyone would see.

OBSERVER:  What was the message intended to be?

RORY MCAULEY:  That [woman] was a traitor who got what she deserved.  I don’t care if people don’t like us.  Most of the time, if you leave us alone, we’ll do the same so long as you’re smart.  But don’t [defecate] in our faces if we put trust in you.

OBSERVER:  Is that a threat to the citizens of Hathian?

RORY MCAULEY:  Depends on whether they’re traitors or not.

OBSERVER:  Aren’t you worried about the police?

RORY MCAULEY:  Rejects were here before Bishop, Rejects will be here after Bishop.  We’re the most constant thing in Hathian.  The smart ones have learned how to work with us to mutual advantage.

OBSERVER:  Thank you for agreeing to talk to me.

Previous Story

Charity Concert: March 12

Next Story

Sheltered Hearts of Hathian, a Community Necessity

Latest from Classifieds

Wiener Wagon Reopens!

Come along under the overpass and taste the new and improved hotdog recipe. Meet lovely Klara…

Hot Mops Maid Services

“Hot Maids offers partial and full-service maid services. Any special requests or needs are welcome and…