Flames Light Up Beach Shack

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The Fire Department of Hathian reported to a 911 call at the shack by the docks on Wednesday afternoon. The shack, a well-known location for rapists and criminals to hide out, was burned to a crisp as the fir fighters put out the blaze.

Citizens didn’t seem to be too broken up about the building’s loss. One citizen told the Observer, “Every abandoned building around here is mostly popular for the more nefarious deeds and they should all be condemned and bulldozed. Not only are they dangerous, they’re an eye sore and if the community municipal leaders would actually do something with the tax payers money instead of spending it all on the HPD’s bullies, we might be able to see a new face to this town.”

Probie Harrison Rascon was one of the ones who responded to the fire. He told Phoenix that it was a tricky fire to put out. The wooden shack burnt quite well. “It was pretty unaccessible to get closer on spraying water on it, so we had to clear down the entrance, windows before moving inside. It was a barrel that apparently had fallen on the ground with few logs burning into it. That’s what really caused the fire in the first place it seemed, but who knows,” he said.

Probie Rascon believed it was arson and said, “It’s definitely someone’s finger laid there.”

Police officers at the scene also agreed that it was arson. Rookie Megan Lennox told Phoenix, “I can say we believe it to be arson. Was some evidence providing the HPD with this notion. The blaze burned too hot and long for just perhaps a cigarette to be thrown down lazily.” She went on to say that “Evidence was found but not at liberty to give further details on the subject, and as far as suspects… None have been named for this.”

Phoenix caught up with Chief Rog Messmer, who was also at the scene of the fire that day, and asked him about the nature of the fire as well. The chief, unlike the others, wasn’t so quick to blame arson.

“Given the nature of the building, abandoned and flood damaged, with no insurance, and no bodies found on site or anything else that someone might have used to cover up another crime, we’re just writing it off as an accidental fire caused by a fire barrel in the building,” the Chief reported.

The Chief went on to say, “I was very dry water aged wood, probably fueled as well by the large amounts of lubricant that get spilled around in there, and probably what happened was it was a slow building fire unreported for a while, that reached a flash point causing the entire building to be engulfed, and because of the difficulty we had entering the building, because of the condition, low numbers of personnel, and lack of need to risk the lives of my men on scene, it took far longer then a normal home fire might have, but that doesn’t say anything about the original cause. A dog tipping over the fire barrel is as good an explanation as any.”

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