Columtreal University Football to Division I Program

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The NCAA announced today that Columtreal University has qualified to enter Division I of the Southeastern Conference (SEC) of NCAA Football.

Press Director Ron Edmonton announced at a press conference that, “Columtreal’s overall athletic performance and academic improvement sets them on the level of universities at the top of competition.” The NCAA also noted that increase in academic attendance and performance at Columtreal influenced their decision.

The decision came as a surprise to many on the Black Bottom, Louisiana campus. Students and Professors flocked to Sloppy Seconds in nearby Vodou and online to LG Sports to buy Columtreal University apparel and celebrate.

Looter Quarterback Jason Keaton stated, “I feel I speak for all Looters players, our cheer girls and the entire Looter Nation when I say that we’re honored and humbled. We fought to be at our best, every day. To hear we earned to be among the best does us proud.”

Columtreal University’s football program has been present since the founding of the University, but fell into Division III during a sharp decline in 2011. The current program is part of an overall effort by Athletic Director Brett Savage to revitalize sports at Columtreal and the school itself. The Columtreal University Looters Football program began the season with a series of unexpected victories that resulted in a winning season and a possibility of appearing in a nationally televised Bowl Game against an SEC opponent.

The NCAA restored Columtreal’s Division I status in large part due to outstanding individual performances by players. Freshman Seth Vond, Kicker, missed only one field goal on the season – a 53-yard attempt. Fellow Freshman Michiaki Yamaguchi, Running Back, averaged 80 yards per carry, and was the leading rusher in that category, total yardage, and touchdowns for Division III this season. Other Columtreal University players such as SS Scott Samson, DT Joshua Andrew-Parker, QB Jason Keaton, WR Leon Acosta and WR Angel Pena also presented performances that the NCAA described as “worthy of Division I.”

Columtreal University will now undergo a series of investigations and qualifications by the NCAA to establish them officially in the SEC. University administration have yet to respond to this news, but it is anticipated that Division I standing will mean greater activity and funding in other sports programs. Athletic Director Savage indicated that sports such as soccer, gymnastics and boxing may soon follow.

Columtreal University Counselor and Professor, Paige Davenport, stated that “this decision will hopefully draw more focus on the academics as well. There are academically gifted students at Columtreal as well as athletically gifted, and professors would do well to get involved in the entire community so that they will receive their due attention.”

Celebrations, courses and other events are being organized throughout Hathian to honor the NCAA’s decision, and citizens are encouraged to visit the Event Calendar to take part. Predictions on which Bowl Game the Looters will enter and who they will face are also a popular topic of discussion. HPD spokesman Porkins stated that the department will be “especially watchful of sports gambling until this thing is over.”

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