Mayor Bans Cleats From Sports Fields

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In another controversial move, Hathian’s mayor, Robert Boxer, has decided to ban cleats from soccer fields and baseball diamonds across the city.

“Those things are dangerous,” states Mayor Boxer. “I don’t know about you, but when I see a dozen five year olds running across a field, I’d rather them not have little daggers on their feet.”

The city hall reports that Louisiana alone suffers from nearly three cleat-related injuries a year, while the United States as a whole is estimated to have upwards of fifty annually.

“That number is just far too high,” claims Mayor Boxer. “I’m glad to be the first major in America to take steps to prevent such horrible injuries.”

Sports professionals claim that cleats actually help to reduce the amount of injuries suffered during play, as they prevent sliding and assist in quick changes of direction.

With this new policy coming into affect immediately, some may start to wonder if the mayor’s popularity rating will remain above a majority. Even when he first took office, it was barely at 60%, leading most to believe that nearly half the city doesn’t want him in office.

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