Cats or Rats? Let The People of Hathian Decide!

2 mins read

Since arriving in Hathian a little over a month ago, on thing that has turned me off more than anything is the large rat population. Not ordinary rats, mind you, but these large swamp rats that the locals call nutria. Call them what you want, they are still filthy rodents and are overrunning this fair city!

Perhaps it is a lack of animal control, or the overabundance of abandoned buildings that is attracting them, but I have seen them everywhere and have even been chased by one leaving work at night.

I propose we fight back against this vermin infestation by using nature’s own natural tool against them. Cats! Not ordinary house cats, which would run in terror of these huge rats, but rather larger, predatory cats, such as panthers or mountain lions. It seems mountain lions are being forced out of their natural habitats in California due to urban sprawl, and these poor felines need a new home and source of food.

By bringing in say, a dozen mountain lions and releasing them in Hathian, our rat infestation would soon be a thing of the past. I feel so strongly about this idea, I think we need to put it to a vote, and let the people decide!

The politicians will always be in the back pocket of special interest groups, such as NAOLRLG (Nutria And Other Large Rodent Lovers Group), and will only respond when the will of the people is heard. So, join with me, citizens of Hathian, and vote to bring in the cats!

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