Gein Burger Issues Ultimate Challenge

2 mins read

You’ve seen them on TV, in the paper, but now, the residents of Hathian have a challenge on their own doorstep.

The local hamburger restaurant, Gein Burger, is now serving up what is probably the biggest burger this side of Louisiana has ever seen, but besides packing on a week’s worth of calories in one sitting, you’re also faced with a challenge that no one could pass up.

“Anyone who finishes the whole burger within two hours gets it free,” explains manager Valena Dowe. “But they also get a t-shirt and their picture up on our wall of fame so everyone knows the accomplishment they’ve achieved.”

The burger, coined the ‘Gein Goliath’, consists of a ridiculous six pounds of meat, one whole onion, two whole tomatoes, half a head of lettuce, one and a quarter pounds of cheese, three whole pickles, and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, and relish, and all for only $50.

“It’s equivalent to about 24 of our regular cheeseburgers, which cost $3.00 each,” says Dowe, seemingly a little surprised at the statement herself. “So, if you think about it, you’re paying about $25.00 less than you would for 24 individual burgers.”

Anyone wishing to face the Goliath simply has to make their way to Gein Burger and order the beast, but because of the massive size of the burger, the staff requires 24 hours notice to make sure they have enough food.

((Please keep in mind that this is realistically a VERY difficult thing to do; realism is key!))

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