Personals for 08/05/2011

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◦ !!!FOR SALE!!! Tickle Me Elmo. New in box. Hardly tickled, $50

◦ Free one can of pork and beans with purchase of three bedroom, two bath home

◦ Hathian Motors auto repair service. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again!

◦ For sale: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating

◦ Giant chicken looking for cute chick to make eggs with. Inquire at Jimmie’s, fatties need not apply

◦ Local Irishman giving out FREE AIDS! Helps you lose weight, look thin and healthy, just like Jared the Subway guy!  EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE AIDS!

◦ Single white female looking for man with large bulge; mama needs a new pair of shoes

◦ WANTED:

Tall, well built woman with good

reputation who can cook frogs

legs, who appreciates a good fuc-

schia garden, classic music and tal-

king without getting too serious.

Interested? Please read only lines 1, 3, and 5; Still interested? Call xxx-xxxx-xxxx

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