HPD Shuts Down Gein: Human Remains Found In Food

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Gein Temporarily closed
The Gein a well known Hathian burger joint has been sealed by police after the gruesome discovery of human remains in the food.

Tonight, members of the Hathian Police Department served a search warrant on Gein Burger, then shut down the well known Hathian eatery with a grim warning sign indicating that human remains had been found in the food. The operation was carried out in a much quieter manner than similar police operations because,while the restaurant was open for business, officers found it completely devoid of customers or employees. The search and shut down operation began several days ago when detectives first found what appeared to be a bone in a pool of vomit that was produced after a citizen ate a Gein burger she had found in the dumpster outside the restaurant. A search of the items in the dumpster used by the Gein found multiple additional bone fragments and a dried liquid trail running from the dumpster into the restaurant. Samples from all locations were sent to the Lousiana State Police crime lab in New Orleans. Those samples returned earlier from the lab having all been identified as human in origin. Detective Sergeant Carver immediately contacted the District Attorney, who pushed through paperwork for an emergency search warrant, and an order to shut down the restaurant until further notice.

In an unexpected twist, the lab results may have also shed new light onto some of the mass murders comitted in Hathian shortly before easter this year. “After running DNA tests on the various samples that were submitted, the state crime lab determined the samples match two of the John Doe’s from the easter ‘Headless Harvester’ murders. Additionally, DNA belonging to the one known victim of the Headless Harvester, Alizabeth Volare, was identified.” Sergeant Carver explained. Ms Volare had been a psychiatrist at Hathian General Hospital, but had left her post without explaination, and had not been seen in town until her headless corpse was discovered outside of the police station shortly before easter.

Sergeant Carver emphasized that there is a larger magnitude to the situation that many people may be overlooking. “All we know is that these lives were ended around Easter. What we do not know is how long Gein Burger has been serving the meat. This puts everyone who has eaten at Gein since about a month prior to Easter 2011 at risk for any number of communicable diseases. It would be similar to receieving an untested blood transfusion with every cheeseburger you ate. Anyone who has eaten at Gein Burger in recent months should seek medical care immediately for a full physical and blood screen. Several people in town have already become sick, which is what prompted us to look into this situation.” With a pause and a sigh, Carver called the situation “a potential public health catasrophe.” At press time, the HPD was in the process of coordinating with Hathian General Hospital to ensure they could handle the possible sharp increase in patients due to this situation.

“Harley”, Gein’s well known and disfigured proprietor, was not at the restaurant at the time of the raid, and has not been located since. The HPD acknowledges that she, and all employees of Gein Burger are being sought for questioning. Anyone having further information on the situation is urged to contact the HPD Detective Division.

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