Dispatches from Mr. Smith

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((To be read through the mind of a 10 year old youth reporter going by the pseudonym, Mr. Smith.))

EASTER BUNNY DROPS KIDS ON HEAD

While sitting next to the “roach coach” that is called Gein Burger, this reporter has learned that “The Easter Bunny” an assumed name no doubt has been dropping kids on their heads. This reporter has also learned “the Easter Bunny” makes people mad and is the cause of “not killing whores who are earning”. (This reporter believes “whores” is the code name for some kind of meat they use at the Gein.)

A shirtless man who’s name wasn’t heard by this reporter but must be in bad shape money wise (hence no money to buy a shirt) was worried about his family and not able to pay his “guys” if he gave an unknown woman some money, and a railroad worker with a strange accent most likely from one of the “Axis of Evil” countries Iran I bet (I’m assuming this man was a railroad worker he was carrying a giant hammer ) wants his “Bo” to make “the Easter Bunny” who is known as Ryan to “pay”.

This reporter can not report how much “the Easter Bunny” or Ryan as they called him owes the shirtless man and the railroad worker but it must be alot (and I would bet to support some kind of terrorist people by the sound of the railroad workers voice). I hope for all the kids sake “Ryan the Easter Bunny” stops dropping kids on their heads and does his job and pays what he owes. I guess the eggs will be a little smaller this year if the Easter Bunny doesnt pay what he owe…lets hope he can pay in chocolate! (or Peeps..!!)

This is Mr. Smith Reporting.

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HOME GROWN TERRORISM IN HATHIAN

While traveling within the more shadowy parts of Hathian, this reporter has discovered terrorism comes in the home grown type in these parts. From crippled men and woman to Balaclava wearing spies (who this reporter assumes was trying to place WMD’s in Hathian Cabs and use a cell phone to detonate them).

This Reporter has heard these “home grown terrorist” plotting to “go to the irport” now as you know Terrorist love to blow up planes so this reporter thinks thats what they are planning. While listening to these terrorists this reporter has also heard about the “Bo” this reporter assumes the “Bo” is the terrorist leaders code name. This is the second time in 2 days this reporter has heard of the “Bo” and I can only guess there is some kind of secret sleeper cell within Hathian.

So who are these people..the “Bo”, the “Shirtless man”, and the “Railroad worker”.. are they just innocents or is there a darker more sinister plot in Hathian…only time will tell..but know this This Reporter will get to the bottom of it. Meanwhile I will be calling the airport and making sure they know of the plot to blow up planes.

This is Mr. Smith reporting.

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BIG TROUBLE AT LITTLE BURGER STAND

It has come to this reporters attention that the terrorist plot in Hathian is deeper than first thought. What seemed to be a small sleeper cell to this reporter is turning into a whole town that is plotting against not only the good citizens of this small town but the whole American way of life. You may ask “what are you speaking of Mr.Reporter” well I will tell you im talking about HAMBURGERS AND FRIES! Yes thats right it seems the Terrorist have not only been trying to blow up cabs and planes but they have gone so far as to try to make people fat by adding preservatives to the food at the Gein as one employee who gave the false name “Sassyfrass” “This stuff is no good for you its loaded with preservatives that suck the nutrients out of the food and the grease is very bad”. If this wasnt bad enough the employee admitted to the GEIN trying to make “Kids fat”.

What are the Terrorist plans? Is this a long term goal ? Is this going on all over the US? This reporter cant say but what is clear to this reporter is this …These Terrorist must be stopped. America’s youth can not be allowed to get fat and not be able to join the Army because you need to be able to run fast in the Army so you can Fight Terrorist and if we are all fat….well you get where im going with this. This is Mr. Smith reporting.

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