Sicko Presley in Graveyard Shocker

3 mins read

Gein Employees are behind the disgusting defilement of former Police Chief’s Grave.

Sick pervert, Mr. Charlie Presley, currently employed at the Gein Burger bar has been exposed as being the brains behind the night-time cemetery desecration.  Mr. Presley, of an obviously cold and calculating nature, casually discussed the incident with his friend and stated, “We just had the bright idea, hey let’s dig someone up!

Presley’s friend who he referred to simply as Cez has also fingered another responsible for the shocking crime, though it is unclear as to who was actually running the operation.  “Pia told me all about it!” she declared.

The callous individuals were openly talking about their depraved crime and obviously have no regard for the family and friends of the deceased. Mr. Presley described by himself as “insane” is a heavy morning drinker at the TT bar. He buys his clothes at the local charity store and apparently has a “complicated” love-life. It is no surprise there!  Midnight wanderings are unlikely to be welcomed by a partner!

Although Mr. Presley’s twisted friend, Cez is unlikely to be directly involved in the crime, it is understood that she is heavily involved with the criminal fraternity and in particular a man named Pia.  Pia had advised Cez “Never eat the burgers at Gein.” It seems highly likely that this ‘Pia’ works at the burger bar and was instrumental in the ghoulish excavation of Captain Mahoney’s grave.

We fucked at Gein!  We can’t even afford to buy meat!”  This statement from crazed Charlie Presley was clearly overheard by investigative journalist Aria Biggley and shockingly explains the reason behind the graveyard incursion.  A sickening twist to the story!  A local customer waiting faithfully outside the burger bar for it to open was astounded and close to vomiting when he was told what Ms. Biggley had heard.

Eating a meal at the Gein is an experience you will never forget” commented Mr. Joseph Cooperstone.

Mr. Cooperstone was quick to point out the implications of eating man flesh and will be seeking medical advice.  No doubt all residents of Hathian will be concerned for their health too.  “What about mad cow disease?  Have we eaten brains?? What would Oprah have to say about this??”  Questions that this reporter is sure will be echoed by all in the town.


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