So its official, I have seen it all. The streets used to be covered with disgruntled citizens. Either puking, fighting, or just overall loitering. It has came to my attention that life has just seemed to up an change, the streets have been deserted, and things seem to be rather peaceful in our wonderful town.
After a bet of investigative reporter work, that’s right unlike some of you slack asses I do my job, it seems that people are just generally happy. With the economy in the tank and over crap in this shit hole things just seem to have calmed down rather than the riots that have been seen all over the rest of the country.
I attribute this to a wonderful new business that has seemed to open up. There is a new massage parlor for a nominal fee, you will be taken into a secluded room and the guarantee is that you will leave with a smile on your face. There seems to be a steady stream of drunken individuals, of both sexes moving to and fro from the establishment, which goes by the name of Rub n’ Tug.
Some people wonder why this place seems to produce more happiness than the local titty bar, which is known to have sex in the champaign room, and the answer is simple.
Are you ready for this.. People like to play cat and mouse with what other people know. People stumble in for Lou’s or the Cash n’ Booze, and after a quick rub down all the economic issues in the world could not make that smile go away. I know that I am rambling here and there is not much sense to this but bare with me.
It is my utter feeling that people that have sex in this town seem to get along better. So I am calling out, throw those in habitations to the wind. Whether your a guy or a girl it matters not.. go get yourself laid by the experts at the RnT.. and enjoy this shit hole from underneath the view of a nice pair of titties of your choice.. don’t be scared just stick your face in between them and give them a nice motor boat.