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June 17, 2018
Latest news from the streets of Hathian...
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Thinking Outside of the Male Box
Posted on 17 Jun 2018 Within the district of Vodou, the city is graced with one of its best Gay Clubs. Cleverly named The Male Box, the establishment...
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29 May 2018
Posted by Joanne Steel 
Two officers from Hathian Police Department were injured, though thankfully not seriously on Saturday Afternoon as they tried to apprehend one of the convoys that had been, as reported on 21st May (http://news.thecrackden.com/2018/05/21/local-motorcycle-gang-on-the-move/) set to move illegal arms and cash...
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29 May 2018
Posted by Hyemi 
Looking for a new place? Want to wake up everyday and go for a swim? Look no further than Vaucluse Beach Resort! Recently renovated, the motel is located on Batterie Beach. At 150$ per week you can rent your very own room. Each room has air conditioning and the motel even has a swimming pool. What...
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29 May 2018
Posted by Hyemi 
Looking for new opportunities? Vaucluse Beach Resort is hiring! The newly renovated motel is looking for a maid to clean the rooms and handle room service. Requirements: Good cleaning skills, a nice cleavage and a big butt. To apply call Claire Obscure de Vaucluse ((Synthetic Seerose)) - 504-827-8999. Want...
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29 May 2018
Posted by Hyemi 
Avid readers will recall an article we published a few days ago regarding rumors surrounding the local Motorcycle Gang, Orcus Samedi Motorcycle Club (OSMC). The source from this article revealed that the MC would be moving money and guns through different convoys on the 26th of May. On said date,...
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26 May 2018
Posted by Faolin Andel 
At approximately 7:30 PM Saturday evening, a Hathian police cruiser was discovered in the bayou near the red light district pier. The vehicle in question has been featured on several Twitter accounts as abandoned in front of the XXX Shop. The state of the police cruiser suggests that a local proprietor...
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24 May 2018
Posted by Hathian Bachelor 
(The following is a video posted on the Observer website of Episode 1 of The Hathian Bachelor reality show.) EPISODE 1: MEETING THE BACHELOR DR. EM WANTS MORE THAN JUST A PHYSICAL Em wanders up to the chair-bound pair after arriving where she needs to be and she moves to half-sit, half-stand...
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24 May 2018
Posted by Hathian Bachelor
(The following is a video posted on the Observer website of Episode 1 of The Hathian Bachelor reality show.) EPISODE 1: MEETING THE BACHELOR MEETING THE COLONEL David was sitting in his wheelchair in disguise, and flying on perc. Surely no one would find in this disguise since people were looking...
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24 May 2018
Posted by Hyemi 
On May 20th the Hathian Police Department and the Hathian General Hospital teamed up for a very special event. Starting from 10 am and throughout the day people were invited to come on over and donate their blood to replenish the hospital's reserves. Of course, your loyal servants at the Observer participated...
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21 May 2018
Posted by Hyemi 
Sarah has been missing since the 19th of May. She was last seen in Hathian wearing blue jeans and a dark crocheted top. If you have any information regarding her disappearance, please contact either the Hathian Police Department or Sarah’s family. If you wish to leave an anonymous tip, please come...
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21 May 2018
Posted by Anon Reporter 
The Hathian Police Department may very well have their hands full in the near future with the notorious biker gang calling themselves the Orcus Samedi Motorcycle Club. A credible source came forward to the Hathian Observer on May 19th, 2018 about the OSMC stating that ammunition and a significant amount...
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