The Tinder Diaries Pt. I The Porn Cop

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By: Michiaki Yamaguchi, Youth Reporter Photo
Hathian Squad car police chase in the city.

Dear Readers

Allow me to introduce myself. The name’s Carly Cox, and like so many other young women, I’m looking for love in a trashcan, using online dating tools such as Tinder. Don’t get me wrong, I can easily pick up a dude at work, but given the nature of said work as a stripper at the Twister, those dudes rarely want to take me out for a dinner, unless my panties are served as dessert!

I would love to say that Tinder offers better experiences, but it seems to be the same dynamic at play there, but what can a girl do, but to keep trying. So, I have decided to detail my experiences of Tinder dating in Hathian for ya’ll, so you can learn by my mistakes, and find that golden piece of litter in the dumpster that that we all call Hathian.

A Tinder Dater’s Diary Pt. I: The Porn Cop

Having been back in Hathian for a few days after a bit of absence, I re-activated my Tinder profile, and instantly got several swipes on me (Yes, I’m a premium member and picky as fuck) and one of them, a rather good looking dark haired man had swiped right on me, promising not to be the man of my dreams, but that he did cuddle after sex.

But Carly, didn’t you just say you wanted love and not just sex? Shut the fuck up, I need to get laid once in a while too, I ain’t better than any of you.

Anyways, we hooked up a few times, and by his own account, he just wanted to fuck me senseless the minute he saw my profile, and truth be told, when I met him in person, I just wanted to be taken in ways that would make my eyes pop right out of my skull on impact.

Now, I’m not an idiot, I realize that just because I eat a guys sperm, that it doesn’t mean he wants to put a ring on my finger, but I felt all kinds of shitty when I later learned he had been fucking hookers on the side while I supposedly saved him from feeling lonely in town.

Needless to say, I have an appointment at the clinic tomorrow to get tested for all kinds of diseases.

Oh, and did I mention that it turned out he is an HPD Officer? Had I known, I would have expected the exploitation of innocent women. I got arrested for flipping him the double birdie and peeing on the hood of his police car, in front of his colleagues, but it was well worth it.

Take that Dave!

Carly Cox,
Looking for love in a trashcan.

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