Dear Grace,
I don’t particularly need relationship advice, as I have grown weary of finding potential mates due to my disability. It is often clear that potential mates that I am interested in see something always as a hurdle. Be it there is too large of an age gap for things to be acceptable in their minds, their own mental capacity to handle a committed relationship, their inability to stay in a monogamous situation, being flighty as fuck, or being overly clingy/controlling with this sense of having to live up to certain roles and statuses. I don’t see the advantages of continuing to try at this point, and it’s affecting everything – home life, academics, and even soon to be career. Life feels like it could go just as well if I were to pack in studying, despite being less than a year now from being done, taking a disability check, and living my life out in, essentially, a hipster mobile home.
That being said, this is a relationship advice column, so I must ask – how do you stop a blu-ray player from flashing 12:00 over and over? It’s distracting the next door neighbor’s dog from the peanut butter and killing the mood.
Dear 12.00 flasher
OK first advice is if you have less than a year keep going with the studies and forget about the relationships. A year isn’t a long time to be single. You might find something out about yourself.
The reasons these women give you, perhaps you need to actually talk to them, there’s usually more reasons for a woman to not commit. Age isn’t a reasonable excuse, find these women and find out what else is going on. If the woman cant commit its nothing to do with you, but perhaps something with her, perhaps fear of commitment. Flighty…. same thing, perhaps there is an underlying issue with this. Controlling… you want to steer clear of that. Living up to roles and statuses… well… that one is harder to overcome, there will be a reason behind that. But the fact remains, unless you open up a discussion with them to see what’s going on, you will always find that there are problems. Another thing, this is Hathian, most of us, are damaged goods, it takes a special kind of commitment to overcome those.
Ok, the blue ray player issue… I have no idea, I usually find a man to sort that kind of thing out. Perhaps turn it off when you are not using it? Thats what I do. Besides, one ex partner of mine used to make me unplug everything before going to bed.
Talk to your neighbour about the dog, there may be a training or health issue there.
Grace
