Hathian Horoscopes with Shelby: Leo Edition

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Submitted by Shelby LeBlanc.

Leo: Well Happy Birthday to the Leos! You may find yourself in a period or change in the weeks surrounding your birthday – rebirth, if that’s what makes it sound nicer for you. Don’t be afraid to jump in head first and see what new adventures await you. Just try not to let those adventures land you in jail. I hear a lot of the Hathian Police Department officers have been a little too touchy feely lately.

Virgo: Y’all gotta stop thinking with your heart for the next few weeks and focus more on your head. Your ability to get sucked into other people’s drama and act as mediator will probably come back to bite you in the ass if you don’t.

Libra: Remember when you were taught to forgive and forget when you were a kid? Well somehow you missed that forget part, now didn’t you? Time to cut out those people in your life that, while you may not still carry a grudge, have wronged you and you’ve been debating keeping around. Get rid of the trash.

Scorpio: Scorpio, you sexy bitches. Keep your pants on. Literally. I know how tempting it is to jump right in the sack with your most recent conquest, but have you heard about what’s in the water in Hathian? I’d seriously hold off if I were you. If not, wrap it up.

Sagittarius: How many times have you been told that maybe you’re TOO honest? While honesty is a great trait, it’s time to reign that in Sags. The girl at the Gein doesn’t need to know that you can see the cellulite on her thighs, so keep that tidbit of information to yourself, okay?

Capricorn: Your loyalties may be tested in the coming weeks Capricorns. Look around you at the situation you’re in and consider who’s loyal to you, and who deserves that back in return. And for those who aren’t, cut them off. Maybe literally. Just remember, in Hathian, nobody thinks twice about people walking into the hospital missing limbs.

Aquarius: Jesus, Aquarius, do you ever get tired of keeping a lid on your emotions? Knock it off. This is a great time for you to go and spill your guts to somebody you’ve been thinking about for awhile…in private. Maybe with the door locked. Don’t let them get away! Make sure you pack extra Duct tape or ropes, whatever you’re into.

Pisces: You’re a talker, aren’t you Pisces? Have trouble shutting up in weird and uncomfortable situations? Well don’t lose that, it’s one of your best qualities. But maybe all that word vomit has made it time for a vacation to get away from everything. Now’s a great time to start planning that trip that you’ve been considering to relax, or just get the heck out of town. Go. Now.

Aries: How’s that chip on your shoulder affecting your posture Aries? Time to start letting go of that grudge…or 12…that you’ve been carrying. Either start forgiving, or start a body count. All that repressed rage isn’t good for anybody.

Taurus: Pay attention to your surroundings for the next few weeks Taurus, it’s very likely that you’re going to stumble upon some information that may prove useful in the near future. Take notes – you may be able to get some serious favors for what you find out!

Gemini: You’re used to being the smartest person in the room as a Gemini, but be careful. Your cockiness may come back to bite you if you don’t keep it under control. Be prepared for retribution.

Cancer: Your competitive nature is going to pay off shortly Cancer! Keep pushing and don’t take no for an answer. Just be careful that you’re not in the presence of the Hathian Police Department when you’re forcing your way into whatever it is that you’re forcing!

Interested in knowing more? Hoping to find Mr. or Ms. right? Contact Shelby LeBlanc for more in depth, personalized readings at Roue Fortunes down on Bourbon St.!

((Contact courtney.thexton for further details!))

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