Dear Grace: Anonymous and Rude

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Dear Grace,

I have a rotund, rich best friend who has been hostile toward me lately. I’ve done a lot for her in the past, like provide helpful weight loss tips as well as attempt to treat her to a triple bypass burger, an offer which she promptly blew off. I suggested she invite me to dinner so we can talk this out, but she completely ignored my tweet. Truth be told, I think she is jealous of me because I’m so thin and pretty, but that’s no excuse to get passive aggressive toward a best friend. Please let me know what I should do.

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous and Rude,

I am sure your friend would hate to be fat shamed the way you did. “Rotund”?

Are you aware that 30 million people in the US have an eating disorder? Between 18%-20% of people who have an eating disorder die within 20 years. This means that the shaming of your friend’s shape could affect her life long. To be a good friend, I suggest you let your feelings on her weight drop. Don’t mention it again. You may think you are being supportive, but be careful what you say; you could make a bad situation worse.

I am a bit confused. You said you have helped provide weight loss tips, yet you offer her a triple bypass burger and then demand to be taken out to dinner. You are certainly not giving your friend consistent signals.

I doubt your friend is jealous of you. If you feel she is not giving you the attention you deserve, I would move on and find a new friend. It could be that this bestie of yours isn’t interested at all or perhaps she’s busy. Sadly, as people get older, their lives become more complex. I would see if she needs help with anything.

I suggest you have an honest heart to heart with your friend. I suggest you talk and you listen. I think its time you two discuss your friendship.

Sincerely,
Grace

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