Why I am so calm? I love it. A death of an animal calms me. I know ill have food. I like dear meat. I love the smell of blood and fresh meat.
I spent a long time on your words, reading and mulling them over. Mainly to try and find a way out of indignation. I haven’t managed to find that calm yet. It’s obvious to most I am an animal lover, but I still eat meat. As a veterinarian I have even had to put sick animals to sleep. I decided to focus on this aspect. Never in all my years have I taken pleasure in taking a life. I have always, even when there was no other option, felt remorse and regret. Never ever calm.
If you find calm from killing because it means you can get sustenance, I understand that to some extent too. So many people in Hathian go hungry because they cannot afford meals. Being able to hunt is a gift; however, I suspect you hunt indiscriminately and perhaps waste animals lives for no reason. That doesn’t sit well with me. In fact, there is a link between animal abuse and serial killers. My very strong recommendation is that you take yourself to Hathian General Hospital and perhaps go for a psych evaluation. The doctors there will help you through it and with any luck find a new way for you to feel your calm.