Babies Explode in Hathian

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Hathian General Hospital reports an unprecedented number of pregnancies within the last six months. 

“As some of you are aware, the last uptick in fertility in Hathian was found to be caused by a leak of fertility drugs into our drinking water,” reports James Mattfield, Hathian General Hospital’s administrator. 

Ten years ago, Hathian’s water supply tested positive for a fertility drug known as Ovultine. The source of exposure was not identified. Investigators narrowed down two possibilities: intentional exposure by scientists of New Orleans’ Mercy Hospital or a shipping accident occurring during Hurricane Katrina.

Medicial officials believed levels of Ovultine would dissipate over time. Recent tests however confirm alarming levels of the fertility drug as well as the presence of Diquik, an erectile dysfunction medication.

“This is most likely why were are seeing escalating pregnancy cases,” Mattfield states, “Not to mention higher rates of pregnancies producing twins and triplets. I’ve also been told men around town are noticing their sex drive is improved.”

Hathian General Hospital suggests drinking bottled water to avoid a risk of increased fertility. 

A clean up of Hathian’s local water plant is underway.

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