Dear Grace,
How does one go about loving someone who doesn’t notice them? I met a wonderful woman, known her for a few years, and now I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level too! She recently got out of a long term commitment, and has a kid too, but I want us to become a family.
I was too chicken to give her a present myself, so I left one for her daughter instead. Anyways, what are great ways to get her to notice me and no one else?
Truly,
Teddy Bear Giver
Dear Teddy Bear Giver,
Well, you have two simple choices. You can keep loving her from afar, swallow your feelings, and watch her potentially move on without the knowledge that you love her; knowledge that could potentially change the direction of both of your lives. Or, you can grow a pair and actually approach her to ask her out. The worst she’s going to do is say no – which depending on how soon it was she got out of the relationship is a possibility.
You say she doesn’t notice you. Are you even friends? Do you know much about her? The thing is, I cant give you advice on how to make her notice you and no one else. I can help in trying to get her to notice YOU though. Talk to her, invite her out to dinner, make her feel special. You don’t even have to lavish her with expensive gifts, and I don’t even recommend that, but buy her a coffee or a doughnut. Invite her out for an ice cream, the daughter too. The best relationships are those where the couple are friends first and foremost. So work on the friendship, be someone she can rely on. Being a single parent can be hard work sometimes, and having a friend who will ease some of the burden is a powerful gift. Before you ask, no I am not saying offer to adopt her child and move in either. By ease the burden I mean, stay in and watch TV with her, whilst the daughter is in bed, with no pressure to go out. Cook dinner for her. Or even help around the house. There are so many small things that can help.
Simply put, be her friend. See where it goes from there.
You could, instead, take the tactic of many other Hathian men: grab her, kiss her and tell her you love her. Just be aware that this option could end badly too. Just don’t take it to the extent of dragging her into an alleyway. This really is NOT foreplay. Assertive men can be sexy. No, actually they ARE sexy.
I hope you know this woman well enough to know which option would work best for her and you.
Good luck, and one last piece of advice: don’t take laxatives to your first date.
Sincerely,
Grace
