Isn’t it annoying when one person in a alleged relationship demands the other party be held to a higher personal accountability than they are. And then find out their exes are still manipulating things and hooking up. I was fine and happy in a open relationship, but then I was informed they had on their own decided to become exclusive, and demanded same. Never having been in such a situation decided to give it a go. Result: now single until certain parties can prove by actions they are sincere in trying to change. Till then , single Pringle man. I was a idiot.
Dear Single Pringle,
I want to make something very clear before I dole out advice. You are not and were not an idiot. Sometimes things beyond our control conspire to make us feel that way. Keep your head held high.
I can see your frustrations. Relationships of any kind change and you need to be adaptable, you need to find ways to communicate your needs to your partner. However, when change is needed, communication should absolutely be the key. No one should be forced into something, even in a relationship, that they are not comfortable with. Your partner should have spoken to you about the changes before making them an expectation. Perhaps you were right to let them go. Personally, I think dialogue should be opened to see where it went wrong and why they suddenly changed the rules. I say this mainly because you indicate you would like to return to the relationship if the option were available.
Everyone has an ex. There is no getting away from it, but I have to ask, are you sure this person is absolutely involved? If the relationship was open, how is them hooking up wrong? This is an analysis you need to make. Think also on the fact that if they are involved now they may always be involved, could you deal with this in six months time?
Whether you and your partner work things out or you move on, I wish you a lot of luck and I hope you find a solution that makes you happy.