(A new weekly column covering everything Redneck! Need some good honest dating advice? We’ll even tackle that too.)
I’ve seen a few folks talkin about noodlin so I figured I’d help ya all learn how to do it.
How to Noodle
It has come to my attention that some folks about town don’t know the first thing about Noodling. I know some of y’all are askin what the hell is noodlin. Well put simply it is catching catfish with your bare hands. You’re more than welcome to catch any kind of fish with your hands but for this article the focus is going to be on catfish. Now I know the next question you’re asking is going to be how strong do you have to be. I’ve seen even five year old kids noodle like pros. So for those who don’t know how here are the steps. Anyone can noodle all you need is the willingness to get wet and a hankerin for mild violence.
Find a good catfish hole in the bank or bottom of a lake or river.
Stick your hand in the hole and feel around for the catfish. (If you find one move on to step 3. If nothing is there go back to step 1)
Once you have your fish, reach your hand in to grab its lower jaw and pin the fish down to keep it from rolling.
Slip your other hand underneath the gill plate, being careful not to damage the gills.
Ease the fish out of the hole and pull its chin tight against your chest.
As the tail comes out of the hole, wrap your knees around the fish’s midsection and cross your ankles. Its tail will fan between your calves—far better than thrashing your arm in open water.
Have a buddy pull you to the bank or boat, and break out the stringer (Might be worth carryin a small club or bat with ya to knock the feisty ones out).
The biggest thing to remember no matter the size, catfish will fight with their heads and tails. Subdue both ends and you can often noodle a Flathead without suffering more than a scratch or two. If the tail gets away from you, the fish will peel the skin off your arm all the way to the boat. If you let go of the head, you’ll have to explain to your buddies why you lost the fish, which is worse than any physical harm you might endure.
Remember in the words of the Great Jeff Foxworthy: If you take a fishing pole into Sea World.…. You might be a redneck!