Local Priest Offering Exorcisms at a Reasonable Price!

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Do you or a loved one have the misfortune of encountering one or multiple vengeful spirits, whom are currently occupying/haunting your life, your home, or place of business?

Do you have an ex-significant other exhibiting symptoms of otherworldly possession, which include (but is not limited to): Loss/lack of appetite, self-harm, a cold feeling in the room, contortionism, frenzy/rage, attacking others, a change in the voice, unnatural physical strength, speaking/understanding another language which they have never learned before, fortune telling (sometimes through dreams), levitation and moving of objects/things with the mind, expelling of object/things, intense hatred/violence toward all religious items, or antipathy towards entering a church, speaking the Lords’ name, and/or hearing scripture?

Do you find yourself the victim of such ungodly encounters and wish to regain some semblance of control over either your own life or that of a loved one? Look no further and call or text this number xxx-xxx-xxxx, ask for Rev. Hideyoshi.

I am a local, ordained priest willing to perform an exorcism on either yourself or your loved one for a humble fee of course, which can come in the form of currency (I take cash, checks, and money orders), or if it is more convenient for you, livestock (chickens, goats… cattle), extra limbs, or other used goods (aluminum cans, vases, or any other junk you might have lying around!).

My methods are 100% conventional and safe and have an absolute guarantee of success. However, on the off-chance that you are not satisfied with the results, I am willing to offer any following services half price (think, half-chicken) or even free, situationally speaking!

((OOC: Contact Shady Biscuit in world if interested!))

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