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(The following is a video posted on the Observer website opertaining to The Hathian Bachelor reality show.)

Watch the Colonel take each of the contestants on a date.
Visit to catch up on missed episodes.


Ren before the call to the set there would be screaming  heard erupting on the  top floor of the mansion, ” I am not going  down there ! It’s probably  some joke and  the Colonel’s kids are going to dump pigs blood over my head ! I am not even telekinetic, I just wanted to be on TV , and have a chance at meeting  someone special! I am NOT going down ever , I’d rather die” The blonde  ran to the bathroom  slamming the door.. keeping the  film crew locked out on  the other side of the door, ” I am NEVER coming out of here ”

David pulled up in the back of a pink limousine, He had no clue what he was supposed to be doing. He was still in a confused state, Only just finding out his name was David and not Dove. The producers had taken him out of bed, gave him the suit that he apparently chose months ago and was told to be ready at five. He got out of the car and looked around a bit. He had spent days… maybe hours telling people how to furnish the mansion but he couldn’t wrap his head around where he was. A producer gave him a little pep talk and told him what he needed to do. Thankfully he didn’t need to do much. He stood beside the Gazebo and blinked a couple times before giving a weak smile, His plumped lips spreading as he took a breath. “Hi..” He would say to them all before looking into the camera. “Hello… Welcome to the….” He blanked and stared into the camera for a couple minutes. “Oh the bachelor. Welcome to the finale of the Hathian Bachelor.” He finally managed to spit out.

James had spent the entire day trying to figure out what he was going to do today.  Twitter had not helped at all.  He saw all of the interaction between Ren, Shaun, Harlow, Camila and others, and it gave him even more to think about.  Some of those thoughts would be revealed in due time, but for now he took his place at the gazebo.  He would notice David’s unusual demeanor, very different from the first time they met, but he would say nothing about it since it had already begun.  He would stand there, cane planted at his center with both hands atop it, quiet until addressed.


Em would head out onto the patio with the others for the next ceremony.  She makes sure one of the crew had an area set up for her out of the sun so that she didn’t have to hold her parasol this time.  It pretty much covered her entire face for the last rose ceremony episode.  Em had seen the whole disaster on Twitter and was sort of at a loss.  She hadn’t prompted any of that, but apparently a good bit of it was about her too.


Ren had been lured from her room , though as she made her way to the staging area, she was already wiping tears from her eyes ,  she couldn’t even pretend she was hopeful, anyone  really looking at her closely would see  she had spent the majority of the day in tears ,  fanning her face with her fingers to dry her tears, taking a series of  deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself,  spotting Em she managed a feeble smile , moments later obviously choking back tears  again , her head canted looking about for an exit, right now being on TV was not much  fun , at least David was here.

David was given a little script to read off of so that there would be no more awkward pauses. “Ladies. Thank you for staying this long with us. it has been a blast having you in the mansion. You have been on two dates each with James. And James, Thank you for being here with us and going through with all of the dates, You have been nothing but gracious and charming throughout this whole thing. Ladies. And Gentleman. I am going to give each one of you time to say anything in front of the others before we send James off into the gazebo where he can have a one on one chat with you.” He looked up from the paper and stared blankly into the camera before looking over and eyeing one of the producers, who in turn made a signal for him to smile. It would take a little bit but eventually David would catch on and smile into the camera before it panned away.


James watched as David read from a script.  He figured it was meant to control David’s eccentricities, not knowing the man too well, nor his current condition, other than the fact that he was going through some sort of identity crisis… but not knowing the severity of it.  Nodding, offering the fairly dead panned David a smile as he was thanked “It’s been a pleasure.”  His head then turned to the ladies who stood looking lovely of course.  A smile offered to them as they were invited to address the group one more time collectively.  He had his attention to them both as he prepared to listen.


Em looks between each of those that have gathered for the second ceremony and then hears as David says that they can say whatever to the camera for the public.  She wasn’t sure what to say, but she heard James make a comment and it sort of set the tone.  Giving a smile to the camera, she’d blow a kiss.  “Thank you for the chance to be here, and to gain new experiences.  To learn more about myself, and those around me.  Make new friends and new bonds.”  She winks, then turns toward Ren with an encouraging smile to tell her to go next.


As Em was addressing the Colonel Ren began to wander away, only to be ushered back into place , she had no idea what she was  going to say , she started listening to Em , shaking her head , then nodding, finally managing a slight smile , that didn’t make her look completely out of it ,and all sorts of hurt and mortified. When it was her turn to address the Colonel, she smiled, though she wasn’t smiling her lower lip trembled a moment and a single tear rolled down her cheek, soon followed by more ,  thank god for  water proof mascara “I .. I… Just want to say it’s been a wonderful experience, thank you to everyone associated with the show” again the blonde tried exiting stage left only to be referred to the taped X on the ground, looking  down at her mark. as she stood waiting for whatever was coming next.


David was signaled to smile so he would and gave a nod. “Thank you ladies. James? If you are ready. You can head to the Gazebo and call for the first lady to meet with you. ” David gave them all a deer in a headlights look as the producers started to shake their heads behind the cameras. “Just call out whoever you would like to talk to first, Ladies. The one not called will wait until he is done.”


James listened as Em spoke, offering a smile as she made her speech.  His head would then turn to Ren who seemed to be struggling today.  All of her brightness and fun were sucked out of her.  He couldn’t help but feel a little bad for her in this moment, hearing her tremble through her speech, looking like she just wanted to leave as soon as possible.  He nodded to David as he was given his instruction, and just before he went into the gazebo, he looked squarely at Ren “Ren… would you join me please?” his voice would boom out, though it was not harsh nor meant to scare her.  He would then turn to go inside and wait to see if she joined him.


Em glances from Ren, who seemed really thrown from what happened on twitter today.  She could talk to the woman later, and perhaps it would help, perhaps it wouldn’t.  In any event, she couldn’t right now as James was calling her to join him into the Gazebo.  Em nods and moves to lean against the concrete planter behind her, waiting as she gave the pair some privacy to chat.  She wouldn’t know what was being said in there until the episode airs.


Ren heard David and looked off camera to her personal story producer, ” Oh good he said we are done …….. until he is done, that makes more sense… I guess ” When the Colonel called for her ,  the blondes first thought was to run , shaking her head , feeling as if she were being asked to  head off to her own execution, taking tiny steps , she would at times  quit walking entirely , then stopping she began to talk to herself , in a soft barely audible whisper, ” Ren stop acting like this , not everyone is going to love you ,especially not anyone with the last name Weaver ..” her day on Twitter  had not been a happy one. Beckoning one of the camera crew closer she latched onto his short and blew her nose ,  making  the rest of the way to the  Gazebo , she wanted to be  cool and happy and sweet , she just knew  she was  going to be mocked  by the  Colonels  son and daughter in law , still sniffling she  forced a smile , ” a pleasure to see you again  C-c-c-c-colonel”  she curtsied as she had on past

David stood outside the gazebo and looked around with a dazed and confused look on his face. Eventually when a producer came to give him some water he would lean in and whisper, “Who are these people? Do I know them?” He really had no idea what was going on.


James tilted his head to her as she greeted him in her usual way, or at least she was trying.  He had mixed feelings about the day.  Did he know that Ren was probably more interested in his money than in him? Of course he did.  As sweet and complimentary as she had been, he had lived life and seen more than most in this town, lived longer than most currently residing and experienced the best and worst of times.  Those who thought him to be clueless didn’t know him from Adam.  Why then did he give her a rose? Many had speculated reasons… because of her looks, because production told him to, because it was better for the show.  The people would speculate until their brains would explode and they would still be wrong.  He would put out both his hands in an attempt to take both of hers in his.  Whether she allowed it or not, he would speak to her and only her “You’ve had a rough day today haven’t you?  I don’t agree with what went down.  No one speaks for me or tells me what to do.  No one!  But I also know that this experience has been different things to different people.  For me it was about finding a companion to live out the rest of my life.  But I don’t believe that you’re purpose here has been the same as mine.  I have lost one eye but I’m not blind, and I did not need other people to lash out at you in order to see what was plane as day for me.  Its important that you understand that.” Words said gently would probably still hit like bricks given her current condition but she needed to understand that he was not being fooled by anyone.  “But.  I gave you that rose because you make me laugh.  I enjoyed your company and I wanted to get to know YOU better.  Not your body, or your clothes… YOU.” He paused and looked to her carefully before continuing “I think you’ll understand then why I don’t have a proposal for you Ren.  But I would hope we can still be friends… yes?”


Em stood off to the side, taking the offered glass of water from the crew member nearby as James and Ren spoke.  She’d silently keep to herself, watching the motions as James took Ren’s hand in hers.  Em had no idea what was being said, but wasn’t really panicking.  She was a rather guarded person most of the time anyway, and this instance was no different.


Ren none of this  was unexpected , even if she were perfect for the man she wouldnt expect him  to upset his entire family to be with her after 2 dates ,  but  what hurt  was after the 2nd date she really sort of wanted to win for  the right  reasons , as he spoke she looked at him a smile plastered on her lips  but her eyes  were wounded looking.  His kids had spent the day raking her over the  coals ,  every truth , every insecurity ,  now tearing her eyes  from the  Colonel  she looked to the camera , ” I donlt want any money for doing this show you can keep it , or better yet give it to  a homeless  shelter or something , I don’t want it ” she then  gazed back up at the  Colonel , ” We could  be friends , but I don’t think we should, it would only  add …. more sadness, and I don’t want to have to ever talk to your son  and daughter in law again.. bye Colonel …  “, kicking off her heels and throwing them into the lagoon , Ren took a running  start off the gazebo and jumped into the water , swimming toward the sand bar  across the way, wondering if it was inhabited , or if she could live out her days there alone Naked and Afraid style.


David looked around as he heard splashing and gave a little shrug. he saw that Ren wasn’t with James anymore so he turned to Em with a confused smile. “Your turn.” He would point into the gazebo and waited for the producers to tell him what to do next.


James couldn’t control what people said or thought and nor would he want to.  People would speculate no matter how much he explained himself and so his decisions and reasonings were his alone, that much he could control, and he did.  He saw the wounded look on Ren’s face… the girl had been put through the ringer and it showed.  He let her speak and just as he opened his mouth to protest he paused to see her shoes kicked off and then a Ren was running towards the water.  Speechless, and not on purpose, he looked at the water for a while, watching her swim away like the end of a movie.  “Strong swimmer.” he complimented, and then sighed, hoping she would find solace, something to patch up her hurt heart and most of all… land because you cannot swim forever.  A double take back as Em joined him on David’s instruction.  “Oh..” another glance to the water, but then turned his head back to Em to give her his attention, a smile for her as he gazed into her eyes with his one “Em.  I have to say that you have without a doubt made the strongest impression on me.  You have impressed me from the first time we met.” He’d put his hands out to take hers if she’d allow it. “I have enjoyed every moment that I have spent with you and awarding you the first rose was indicative of the fact that I wanted to get to know you more.  On our second date, I believe I did get to know you even more, but I feel like you might agree that two dates does not make a marriage. So while I do not have a proposal for you, I don’t want us to end our connection here.  I feel like we have the makings of a great friendship, and it would be a pleasure to explore that further.  Who knows what the future holds but I would very much like to extend a genuine and lasting friendship… will you accept?” he spoke in a manner similar to offering a rose.  This probably was THE rose or the ring or whatever you want to call it, that he could offer today, two dates later, and still practically strangers with the exception of some meaningful discussions that they had exchanged.  He couldn’t see himself proposing to anyone in such a short time, nor see anyone accepting, but the future was untold and if she would accept his offer of friendship, he would consider this experience a success.

Em steps forward into the gazebo as David directed her to head in.  She’d hear the splash and look over to see Ren had jumped into the water and was swimming off.  She blinks in surprise, looks over to James and back again.  “Well, that’s one way to make an exit, I suppose?”  She expresses with a small amount of sympathy as she turns to look to James.  She had half expected him to jump into the water after Ren to try and ‘save’ her.  Instead, he continued with the show and gave her the speech that she had been half-dreading.  She knew how the concept of the show was supposed to progress.  A marriage proposal!  Nope!  Too soon.  Em let James take her hand and to her relief, he didn’t offer one, which was good cause it would have been a bit of a hit for her to turn him down on national television.  The relief was evident in her expression and she smiled up at him, damn his height!  “I’m happy to hear that,  I agree, two dates is just a beginning.  I would gladly accept your friendship, James.  You have been wonderful company and great conversation and most importantly, a perfect gentleman.”  Not that he hadn’t looked, and she’d probably have been offended if he hadn’t looked!  But he hadn’t made any crass commentary, which she appreciated.


David stood by himself now and waited for everything to be finished with everyone. His eyes shifted around as he again looked to a producer for instruction. He would start playing with his jacket a little as he waited.


James smiled as Em not only accepted but understood.  “Thank you Em.  It has been a pleasure.” He almost expected her to given how alike their thinking seemed to be, especially on serious matters. Of course he had looked, he was a man after all and it would be ridiculous of him not to look at a beautiful woman for all that she is, but he looked at all of it, both inside and out.  He believed that this was indeed the beginning of a wonderful friendship, one that he may not have had otherwise.  In fact he did hope to remain friends with them all, but for the moment he stood with Em, considering this experience a successful one… though poor Ren might think differently.  Letting go slowly of her hands after giving them a final squeeze, he turned to view the crew and saw David playing with his clothes.  He wasn’t sure what was next or if the camera was just going to cut to credits.




Ren floated back and  climbed out of the water on the other side of the mansion , the cameras catching up with her , she  kept her head down  and  tried to enter  and  climb the steps up to  upper level and begin packing ,  glancing back  looking  relatively miserable  and worse for wear,  the producer speaking to her  off  camera , ” No I was not trying to end it all , I just felt like getting away , so I did . Now I just want to be left alone ,  I don’t even want  any of these clothes and shoes they are tainted now , give them  to stylish homeless  women that are a perfect size 2’s . I am serious I don’t  want your evil Bachelorette money  give it to  the newlyweds ! Oh well  the daters  then! No he’s  rich or something give my money to the poor “, throwing her wet gown into the  sink she emerged from the bathroom ready to go, “I need a ride home please”

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