Gein Burger Reopens Under New Management

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The once condemned Gein Burger has again opened its doors to the public after much unwanted attention drawn towards the restaurant for having human remains in its ‘beef’ patties.

Valena Dowe, who was arrested during the Headless Harvester trial for assault and contempt of court, took the position of manager after the late Harley Riler was executed, it apparently being the woman’s last wish that Dowe take over at the helm and watch the restaurant.

“I’m not an idiot,” states the new manager. “I know people are going to be apprehensive about eating here again, but I can assure you nothing is wrong with the food anymore. I had a health inspector come in, and anyone that wants to read the report is more than welcome to stop by and ask for a copy.”

With this peace of mind, maybe the trust of the city can be gained back. After all, we cannot have the actions of one taint the view of another.

“I also encourage all previous Gein employees to come back to work, including the ones that found employment elsewhere,” Dowe says, perhaps taking about the recent influx of Gein Burger workers to the rival Jimmie’s Chicken Shack, which is located only a block away. “After all, Gein was your first choice.”

Dowe also says that the restaurant is taking applications for new employees with no resume required, all training done on the spot.

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