Will babies use mothers like robots to help take over the world?
Hathian-The local OBGYN has gotten a lot more work as of late, and not just for the rape kits and the occasional pap-smear. The child population has been on a boom as of late. Many citizens decided to keep warm in the cold night air by “bumping boots.”
A warning to all citizens that decide to cross all these spawn carriers: we’re taking our lives into our own hands. The hormones of life seem to change the entire make up of the host body. The child seems to use its joy stick to drive its mother insane until it feels that it has no more use for it, all while laughing.
It was long regarded that bearing a child was all for procreation and that the mother was to protect the child at all costs because they were helpless. A recent study by some university students who call themselves, Jack and Uri – Scientists Extraordinaire, conclude kicks and cravings are a way of controlling the mothers body, injecting feelings through the blood stream to change moods a the blink of an eye. It seems the child gets such a kick out of the reactions that it slowly evolves into overlord of the entire vessel, much like it were a robot.
“Its like an episode of the Gundam, X files, and the movie Aliens all brought together by Steven Spielberg and shifted into the here and now,” Uri said as he applies BC powder to stop a headache.
The ground breaking study requires women to respond on basic inputs for external surfaces, usually taunting of the child. In seconds one could see the mood change from anger, hate, sadness, happiness, and horniness in extreme cases.
So a word of advice to people who interact with pregnant women: they are not in their right mind, they are under the control of a nutrient sucking parasite. God help us when this new generation decides to grow up and visit the world.